How Infertility Has Made Me a Better Mom
Struggling through 5 long painful years of infertility is not something that many people could look back upon and actually be thankful for. Then again, I am not like most people. I do not know what it is like to have an unplanned pregnancy or to get pregnant while trying to conceive for a short time.
No, I have always taken the long road. I have always taken a little longer to accomplish things, and pregnancy was no different.
I was ready to start having kids about 2 years before my husband was ready. Then when we were both on the same page and was ready to start trying for a child, we never imagined what’d happen. Months after months went by and we could not conceive.
Before I knew it, 2 years of trying went by. Then I went to the doctor to see if there was something wrong.
Doctor Visits Begin
The 1st gynecologist did a series of tests to rule out all kinds of possible reasons for infertility. Some tests were painful when others were embarrassing. They found nothing wrong so I went home and I kept on trying every month. After another year went by I went to another doctor and went through some tests only to once again be told that everything seemed normal and healthy.
The next logical step was to be sure everything was up to snuff with my husband. Again nothing was found to be abnormal. So we started watching the calendar, using ovulation kits, reading, crying and thinking. We looked into going to an infertility expert but found that the cost of the procedures was way out of our budget.
Perhaps the most important thing that happened through those 5 years of struggling with infertility is how my husband and I grew. We grew as a couple and as individuals and as the saying goes, what did not kill us made us stronger.
Exploring Other Options
Those feelings became very stronger and more concrete over the years. I had accepted the fact that my husband and I were infertile for unexplained reasons. We knew we’d have to become parents through other means so we started researching adoption.
Anyone who’s trying of getting pregnant knows firsthand how many pregnancy tests one can go through. I felt like I owned stock in E.P.T. For years, at the 1st sign of a late period or bout of not feeling well, I crossed my fingers and ran to take a test, only to be disappointed.
Then one February morning as we were getting ready to go on vacation I took a test. For the 1st first time ever it read positive. I was beside myself and immediately started to think that it must be faulty. Of course, I took about 12 more tests within the next couple of days, all of which came back positive. Then I’d it confirmed by my doctor. I was 6 weeks pregnant after trying and being ready for so long.
It is Time!
I started to plan and prepare for that magical moment and immediately my career aspirations went to the back burner. I started to feel as though the meaning behind having it all was being a mom and wife and having a family. On September 21, 2004, I had an unplanned c-section and gave birth to a healthy child girl.
For most parents, the very first weeks that follow are so tiresome and stressful which they sometimes question what they have gotten themselves into. Not for me. I was so happy to have been given the chance to have this baby which I gladly and without any complaints took care of her at all times. When most parents would dread hearing a 2 a.m. cry, it was music to my ears because every time was a reminder that I was finally a mother.
I do not think for a minute that I’d cherish parenthood the way which I do now if I had not gone through infertility. I know what it is like to long for a baby and not have one and to believe that you can never get the opportunity to have one.
Those seven years changed who I was as a person and how I look at motherhood. Struggling through years of infertility made me have such a deep appreciation for my daughter and getting the opportunity to be a mom. Today I am thankful for going through infertility because I truly believe that the struggle has made me a better parent.